up + out

Good morning, for morning it is, and good it feels to me.

I’m feeling especially open and changed and giddy today. Which is funny, because I wouldn’t say I had a particularly restful night of sleep.

I awoke from active dreams. I awoke from a troublesome feeling. And I also awoke to breath in my lungs, I awoke to a new day. The sky greeted me as if we’d never met, the air buzzing with excitement and adventure. I feel as though I awoke in another place, another town, another country. I feel as though there is something on its way to me.

These days, these moments, they electrify me. I feel as though I am in another dimension, new smells, a new texture to the sound, a brand new light created by sun and clouds. Everything feels new, and here I am to drink it all in.

And of course, everything is new. I am not the same from one moment to the next, nor are the sky, the plants, the squirrels and birds that chase each other around me. Everything is always changing, and thus when I awake each day and look around, I am looking at change. With each breath comes change.

Perspective feels incredibly powerful to me. Sometimes I feel as though I can choose a perspective, and other times I feel as though I just have to say - I am open to witnessing the new - and perspective suddenly finds me. Choice is bound up with it, and also surrender.

For the past several days, the first thing I’ve done upon getting out of bed is to step outside and look for the moon. A ritual born of my childlike innocence. Because why not start the day that way, by looking out through layers and layers of moving particles to witness and remember the realms that lie beyond what I “know”? And each day the moon is different, each day it is new.

Today when I looked up and out, I found the moon in its silvery shadow state. I also found something I did not at all expect to see: a rainbow above me. Can you spot it?

I can feel the roundness of it all today, the delicious curvature that shapes what I know. It feels fertile. It feels insanely beautiful. How wonderful it is to have a view in all directions, to have this sky above me, and below me on the other side. To be constantly in amazement of the mystery of things I cannot see or touch or smell, but to know they are there. To have the ability to surrender each moment to it all, to this existence. A part of me remembers, it remembers something I can often forget: I belong here.

I am here, happy here, and I need not be anywhere else at this moment. And yet I will go where the wind leads me, I will go where my feet take me. I will go where the river runs, or rather I am going, as the water ever flowing carries me along to new places within me.

🍃

I feel free today. I choose to be free, and I choose what that means. Perspective. What a ride.

Keep an eye out for my next letter, take care, and as always...

...if you need me, come find me - I’ve gone gnomin’.

-katelyn