remembering

Dear friend,

I do hope you are well, however that looks for you. I awoke to birdsong today, a cardinal calling. It went straight to my heart.

I want to tell you a bit about my experience this past year. I took a promotion I didn’t really want, sustained an injury at work when the pandemic hit, left my job, and spent the rest of the year trying to figure out how I had gotten to where I was and how to move forward from there, all the while relying on the support of others to get by.

And I’m so grateful it happened.

It took a while to recognize the depth of gratitude in the midst of that chaos. I’m still understanding it. But it has brought me to a space I don’t remember being in for a long time.

Remembering. This past year has been a lot of remembering who I am, beneath all the anxiety and confusion, and coming into relationship with the very vulnerable pieces of myself that I’ve spent years avoiding.

I’ve been using Human Design to aid me in that process. The system found me in perfect timing, and I’ve been allowing its information (which draws from Astrology, the Hindu Brahman Chakras, the Chinese I Ching, Jewish Kabbalah, Quantum Physics, Genetics, etc.) to ground me deeper and deeper into my meaning.

🍃

Human Design didn’t give me meaning, it helped me remember my meaning.

It helped me remember that my worth is inherent, and that my body is not designed to prove anything through physical effort (hello, second injury in two years).

It helped me remember that when I don’t feel excited about something, I shouldn’t take it on just because my mind thinks it’s the only way to survive. Truly, this has kept me locked in a cycle that I’m just now starting to break out of.

It helped me remember that the pressures I feel around “purpose” and “identity” feel awful for a reason - they don’t belong to the body I was born with. That eventually they were woven into the fabric of my being from the outside, and I’ve spent the past two+ decades believing them.

Human Design helped me remember that living as my differentiated self is the only purpose I am here for. It’s me. I am my meaning.

🍃

I’ve spent so much of my life believing that differences are just pain points that alienate me from “the other.”

But truly, when it comes to the way we view this life, and feel this life, and move through it - we are all so brilliantly different. We are built to be unique. Our differences in perspective, in personality, in emotion. In the way we process information. In the way we learn. In the way we eat. In the way we connect, or not. Even in the way we sleep.

I remember now that it is in understanding and honoring how I am different, that I become closer to myself and to others. Human Design has helped me to remember my differences. And really, when I say differences, I mean gifts.

It is when I honor my gifts, when I trust my differences, that the magic of life unfolds.

🍃

I planted a seed of being seen, and it led me to these letters. To this space where I get to share my differences, my gifts. And I’m so grateful that you’ve invited me to share them with you.

Keep an eye out for my next letter, take care, and as always...

...if you need me, come find me - I’ve gone gnomin’.

katelyn